While You Were Away
by NerdAngel
Summary: After his brother was dragged to Hell almost two months ago, Sam has been trying to hunt down Lilith for payback. When he receives a surprise visit from Dean with news that Sam himself has killed Lilith and saved him from going to Hell, it's like it had all been a terrible nightmare. However, when the brothers head off on a hunt, things start to seem not quite right to Sam.
1. Ch 1-4

While You Were Away

NOTE: I don't own Supernatural. This takes place between seasons 3 and 4.

Ch1: He's Back

Sam awoke to a throbbing pain in his head. It was probably from all the alcohol, or maybe it was from the day before when he had tried to exercise that demon with Ruby.

"_I promise, the more you practice and the better you get, the less it will hurt," she had said as she handed him the bottle of Aspirin._

"_Yeah well, so far that hasn't really been the case," Sam had snapped back as he poured four pills into his large hand._

"_Like I said practice…"_

"_Yeah I heard what you said Ruby!" Sam took a pause only to take a swig of his Bourbon and down the white painkillers. _

"_Ok then, let's keep at it."_

Sam got up from the dirty floor of the old house he had been squatting in for almost two weeks now and stretched his arms. He groaned as he popped his shoulders, then made his way to the bathroom. If possible, the bathroom was worse than the room Sam was sleeping in. There were no shower curtains, the tub had an orange ring that ran all the way around the inside of it and the tub itself was stained pale yellow. The sink hung onto the wall and it too was yellow with the faucets and spout covered in rust. There was one round mirror that hung above the sink, a small crack ran from the top right corner and snaked its way down to the other end. Like all the other walls in the house, they were covered in grime and the tile below was cracked and molding. Sam turned the faucets and after a good deal of muscle was put into it, they squeaked in protest. Pale orange liquid poured from the spout freely. Sam waited for the water to clear up a bit, and then put his hands under the cold running water and threw it onto his face. He turned the faucets again to stop the flow and closed his eyes. Sam didn't want to see himself in the mirror, he knew he must look like mulled over and spat out crap. Between the drinking, the fighting, and the crying himself to sleep and an occasional unwanted outburst of tears throughout the day, he couldn't imagine he looked even halfway decent. Slowly Sam opened his eyes and chanced a look in the mirror. Nothing would prepare him for what he saw. He looked completely and utterly…normal. No dark circles or red puffy swollen eyes. Even his hair looked pretty decent and the stubble that he had been letting go was…gone. Sam had to take a double take at his reflection. He still looked normal. Eventually he pulled his shocked face from the mirror and made his way into the kitchen.

There wasn't much in the room, other than a table and a few counters and cupboards with either doors hanging open, or completely gone. The walls were covered with the same filth as the bathroom and his "bedroom" causing whatever color they had been at one point, to turn a muddy brown. On the table sat Sam's bottle of Bourbon, some weapons, and his Aspirin. Sam grabbed the bottle, popped open the lid, poured pills into his hand, took a long swig of his drink, and swallowed. He sighed. The Bourbon burnt going down, but it was a welcoming feeling to him. He took another large sip of the Bourbon closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of the alcohol course through him.

There was a sudden pounding that interrupted his drinking session. He paused. Another loud pounding sounded. It was coming from the front door of the shithole that Sam was occupying. He sighed heavily, rolled his eyes, and stomped off to see who was interfering with his numbing process.

"Ruby, how many times do I have to tell you, just come in through…"

"Uh, Sam?"

When Sam had opened the door, he didn't expect to see who was on the other side. His eyes widened, his heart began to race, and for a minute he thought he was going to pass out.

"Dean?" what came out of his mouth was barely a whisper. Dean looked at him puzzled by Sam's reaction. Before anyone could say anything else, Sam dug into his jacket pocket and whipped out his flask of Holy water. He quickly unscrewed the lid and threw the liquid into Dean's face. His older brother spat out a mouthful of water and wiped his eyes.

"Sam, what the f…"

Sam grabbed Dean and sliced his left arm with the bowie knife that had been in his pants pocket. Dean cussed and held his arm, covering his wound from sight.

"Let me see it," Sam replied trying to get a look at the cut.

"Sam, are you out of your fucking mind?!"

"Let me see your arm!"

Dean moved his hand from the cut and Sam sighed with relief as red liquid gathered up from the fresh wound and streamed down his arm. Without warning, Sam grabbed his brother into a tight embrace.

"Sam, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam didn't let go right away. He was afraid that if he did, his older brother would vanish and this all would have been some crazy dream or hallucination. Slowly, Sam unraveled his arms from around Dean and took a step back. He kept one hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I can't believe you're back," He exclaimed with a smile, tears starting to well up in his hazel eyes "it feels like it's been forever."

"Well, it was only maybe twenty minutes," Dean looked at his brother perplexed. Sam ran his hand down his face.

"Wait, what? Twenty minutes? Dude you've been gone for almost two months."

"Ok seriously, what's up with the dog left home alone act? I was seriously only gone twenty minutes."

"You went to Hell Dean. I – I saw you, Lilith made me watch as the Hellhounds..." Sam wasn't ready to talk about what he had witnessed just yet, not unless he was yelling about it while intoxicated anyways.

Dean looked at his younger brother as if he was speaking to him in a foreign language.

"Lilith? Lilith is dead Sam, you killed her remember?"

"What?"

"I gotta say," Dean chuckled as he made his way into the house "you were pretty badass. I mean I thought you decapitating Gordon with the razor wire was impressive..." Dean whistled.

"I killed Lilith?"

Dean scoffed. "Understatement. You tore that bitch to pieces and took her head clean off."

Sam stared at his brother who had started to clean up the cut Sam had given him.

"But Ruby said…and you – I saw you…"

"Did you hit your head the few minutes I was gone?" Dean questioned as he pressed a cloth to his arm. He winced. "While you were going all Chainsaw Massacre on Queen Bitch, I found Ruby and she found her knife in her lungs. I always hated that skank."

"You killed Ruby?! Dean, she was helping us! Why can't you accept that she wasn't evil?"

"How many times do I have to say this Sam, she's a demon, no such thing as a good one. A demon is a demon is a demon. She doesn't know how to not be an evil manipulative bitch."

Sam opened his mouth to fight, but decided against it. If it was between him having Ruby or having Dean, he would take Dean and all his stubborn black and white point of view glory. It was silent between the two as Dean finished patching himself up. He reached over the table and grabbed the bottle of Bourbon.

"Oh nice, thanks Sam."

"What?"

"You drank my entire bottle. Well I guess that explains things, you didn't injure yourself, you're drunk."

"What? No I'm not," Sam protested.

"Were you in my Aspirin too? Fuck Sam, what the hell?"

"Your Aspirin?"

"Uh yeah, for the claw marks in my arm from that last hunt," Dean replied in an 'obviously' manner.

Sam stood thinking hard about everything. Hadn't his older brother been torn to ribbons while he was forced by Lilith to watch? Hadn't he and Bobby buried him and put up a poorly made grave mark and a promise by a distraught Sam that he would bring him back? Wasn't Ruby coaching him on how to kill Lilith and stop her from breaking the seals and get a little payback for sending his brother to Hell? Suddenly feeling light-headed, Sam sat at one of the old chairs at the table. His mouth hung open and he stared ahead at one of the grime covered walls in the kitchen.

"Sam? Helllooo earth to Sam Winchester," Dean waved his hand in front of Sam's non-responsive face. "Dude, you're starting to weird me out."

"Sorry," Sam replied shaking his head pulling himself from his thoughts. "Sorry I just – never mind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Sam gave his big brother a reassuring smile.

"Alrighty then." Dean reached into the back pocket of his torn up jeans and pulled out a rolled up newspaper, slapping it down in front of his brother on the table. "Berkeley California, four men in the last three weeks have been found, there skin completely missing. Police are saying It's some psycho with a skin fetish who's seen Silence of the Lambs too many times."

"Huh."

"Poor moronic cops, what would the world do without us, huh Sammy?" Dean smiled at his little brother who in returned scoffed.

"So, what are you thinking?"

"Not too sure yet," Dean admitted. "But whatever it is, it's definitely something worth looking into. I mean it's not every day you hear about Hannibal lector, right?"

"I guess."

"What do ya say Sammy, you ready to gank that S.O.B?"

Sam nodded his head, a small grin flashed on his face. He didn't want to answer in words, afraid that he would sound too excited and Dean would start questioning him again or look at him like he had lost his last marble. It wasn't often that Sam showed any kind of excitement about a case, he just followed Dean and did the research. However this time, he couldn't wait to get out of this shitty place and hit the road riding shotgun. He could have sworn that it had been ages since he went on a good old fashion monster hunt with his big brother. Quickly, but not too quickly as to arouse suspicion, Sam began to shove the weapons that had been on the table into the green beat up duffel bag they used to transport them. He reached over to grab the Aspirin bottle too, just to toss it into his jacket pocket as to get it out of the way, when Dean grabbed it first.

"Hands off of my candy," he snapped. Sam put his hands up in surrender and moved on to pack up all his clothes and laptop. While he rolled up dirty shirts and pants and stuffed them into his backpack, a sudden realization came over his face. He looked around the room, eyes scanning mostly the floor.

"Hey Dean?" Sam called out to his brother.

"Yeah?" Dean appeared in the doorway.

"Where are your things? I mean where are your clothes and your bags…where did you sleep?" Sam's questioning eyes met his brother's.

"I packed up already," he shrugged "it's all in the car. I slept on the other side of the room. It's not like it isn't big enough."

Sam looked around the room again trying to recall their sleeping arrangements. Slowly, he nodded his head and continued packing.

A few minutes later, Sam had his laptop bag slung over his left shoulder and his backpack full of clothes over his right. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Dean had already snatched up their green duffel.

"Alright, you ready to blow this Popsicle stand?" Dean asked turning to face Sam.

"God yes," Sam answered not bothering to hide the relief he felt knowing that soon he would be leaving this place for good. He didn't take one look back as he marched through the hall towards the front of the house. Sam practically ripped the door from its hinges. A warm breeze hit his face and he had to shield his eyes from the hot light of the sun. The air, a little too warm as it may be, felt somehow foreign and comfortable. Sam took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then let out slowly and deeply.

"Anytime you're ready Pocahontas," Dean called out. The younger Winchester opened his eyes again to see his brother load the green bag into the trunk of the Impala. Finding his feet again, Sam joined him, adding his bags. He opened his mouth to apologize for his moment of Zen, but decided against it. His brother would probably just tease him some more if he said anything. He closed his mouth and headed for the passenger side of the car. Dean climbed into the driver's side, turned the key, blast the mullet rock music, revved up Baby's engine, and pulled away. Sam was grateful to watch the old shambled house disappearing in the passenger side mirror.

Ch2: Ruby?

"Sam, wake up," a feminine voice rang out. It didn't take long for Sam to identify it as Ruby's. Her brown eyes were the size of saucers and her lips were twisted into a frown. "Sam…Sam…Sammy!"

Sam's eyes flew open and he catapulted himself up from the passenger side of the Impala. His breathing heavy and his eyes wide. He looked over to see his brother staring over nervously at him.

"Sorry to interrupt your sugar plum fairy dreams, but I thought we should stop and grab a bite."

"Yeah," Sam swallowed. "Yeah sure." Dean nodded and waited for his brother to start climbing out of the car before he did himself. Sam looked around at his surroundings trying to pull himself fully awake. It was a cute town, with shops that lined both sides of the street and not far off he could hear the ocean. "Where are we?" he asked turning to his brother.

"Monterey California," Dean answered with a smile.

"Monterey? What are we doing here?"

Dean shrugged. "I thought it would be a nice change is all. I have only ever drove through here maybe once before. Besides, it's not far from the job."

It hadn't been Sam's first time either. He remembered taking a mini vacation with Jessica to Monterey back when he was in college and she was alive. He found himself smiling at the memory and then quickly discarded it, clearing his throat.

"So, where to?"

Dean's eyes fell on a little diner across the street. "How about there?" he pointed.

The inside looked like almost every other diner that he had ever stepped foot in, and he had been in a lot of them.

There were tables and booths in one section, all with a royal blue mock leather material lining the seats. The tables were all white and Sam guessed they were more or less made out of plastic. Over at the counter, there was a row of six barstools all with the same royal blue mock leather and the counters were white like the tables. The walls were tiles that made a mosaic of sea creatures all around.

"Welcome boys, go on ahead and sit wherever you like. I will be with you shortly." A portly woman called out with a smile to the Winchesters. Dean smiled back and he and Sam sat themselves at a table looking out the front window. A few minutes later, the woman was standing at their table, handing out menus. "My name is Jeanie and I will be your server. Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked. Sam placed her in her mid to late fifties. Her greying blond hair was pulled back in a high tight ponytail and even he felt her make-up looked a bit much.

"Well Jeanie, I will take the best beer you got," Dean answered her with a smirk.

"A water for me, thanks."

"Really? A water? What are you Grandma Jo?" Dean teased his little brother when the waitress had left. Sam ignored Dean's comment.

"Here you are, are you ready to order?" The waitress asked as she dropped off the drinks a few minutes later.

"I believe we are," Dean answered. She pulled out a pad from the apron she wore around her waist, her long fuchsia nails tapped the paper as she jotted down their orders. Dean was getting a bacon cheese burger, extra onions extra bacon, while Sam had settled on the house salad.

Once they were done, they thanked the waitress and started out.

"Hey before we take off again, I'm gonna go hit the head." Dean announced. Sam nodded to show he understood and went to stand outside the diner. As he was taking in the sights, he saw someone on the other side of the street. She appeared to be calling out to someone, although there was no sound coming from her that Sam could hear and no one seemed to be paying attention. Squinting in her direction trying to read her lips, Sam found himself moving closer to the street to get to her. The closer he got, the more he started to recognize her.

"Ruby?" He asked. She continued to call out silently to him.

"Ruby?"

Sam whirled around surprised by a voice that was coming from behind him. He quickly tried to cover the look of fear on his face, but eased up when he found it was just Dean.

"Dean, hey…"

"Did you say Ruby?" Dean asked ignoring his brother.

"I…um…." Sam tried to find what to say that wouldn't make his brother think that he was insane. "Yeah I thought…there was a girl who looked like Ruby. Clearly she wasn't though," Sam said trying to sound convincing. Dean glared at him.

"I told you, I iced that bitch," he said coldly.

"Yeah, yeah no I know," Sam fumbled. Dean gave him one last look before heading towards the car. Sam turned back around to look at where he had seen Ruby and saw no one there. He shook his head at himself and joined his brother at the Impala.

Ch3: Research and Reruns

"Man I can see why you came out to California. Nice weather, good food, and hot chicks."

"I came out to California so that I can could go to College," Sam responded.

"You know Sammy, sometimes I wonder if you're even a guy," Dean teased taking a quick glance at his brother in the passenger seat.

"I'm just not a dog, like you," Sam retorted with a quick grin, which Dean returned. He placed his head on the window and peered out at the scenery as his brother drove on.

Although he would never admit it, especially to Dean, he missed the playful banters he and his brother use to have. It felt like it had been years since they had joked around together. It seemed that for the last year Dean had two reactions to Sam; putting on a bravado act and being an ass, or yelling at Sam for trying to save his life. He didn't blame his brother for how he acted. Since as long as he could remember, putting on a front was how Dean tried to cover up his fears and protecting his little brother was all he knew needed to be done with his life. What frustrated Sam was that his brother hadn't let him help. Anytime he had a suggestion, Dean shot it down due to the risks being too high for Sam's life. He didn't understand why his brother was so down on himself, why he felt that he should be treated like less than Sam or anyone else. That Dean's life meant nothing in comparison to his. Their dad had been tough on them, Dean especially, but still it seemed no one was harder on Dean than Dean himself. Sam had been feeling pretty defeated as well. He had tried so hard to save Dean, to break that deal, but… he had? He could have sworn he watched helplessly as his big brother was dragged to Hell, yet here Dean was sitting next to him in the Impala singing along to Metallica. His head began to pound again. Something wasn't right, or at least something felt off to the younger Winchester.

"Hey, Alice, you're due back from Wonderland."

Sam shook his head, realizing he had once again been lost in thought. "What?"

"I'm going to go check us in, you move Baby to a spot."

"You want me to move the car?" Sam asked surprised.

"Yeah," Dean responded raising an eyebrow. Sam got out of the passenger side and went around to sit in the driver's side. He nodded to his brother and took off to find a place to park. The hotel was only a two story building and there weren't many rooms which also meant there weren't a lot of places to park. After finding a spot further down the lot, Sam was joined by Dean who waved two key cards in front of him. He followed his brother up the stairs and down a hallway until he stopped at a door. All the doors were a pale blue with peeling paint and a rusty number nailed to it. Dean shouldered his way into the room that was numbered 37 and turned on the lights. The inside didn't look much better than the outside. The walls were the same pale blue as the door and the carpet was a range of blues, greens, and greys in an assortment of shapes. There were two queen size beds with little nightstands, both with a hideous floral bedspread. A television sat on a dresser on the opposite side of the beds and a mini fridge stood next to it. It was far from pretty, but anything was better than where they had been squatting. At least, that was Sam's thought. Once they had done a quick inspection of the room, they went back to the Impala to get their bags. Sam grabbed his backpack and his computer, while Dean grabbed his clothes bag and the duffel.

Once they were inside, Dean flopped down on the bed closest to the door and sighed. Meanwhile, Sam started to set up his laptop on the little table, taking a seat in one of the blue chairs.

"Dude, seriously?" Dean whined looking over at his little brother.

"What?" Sam shrugged.

"You're going to do research, now?"

"Um...yeah."

"Nerd," Dean commented under his breath.

Sam shook his head and turned back to his computer. While he waited for it to load up, he peered over the top of the laptop to see Dean. He watched as his brother channel surfed through the hotel television, finally settling on flipping between a show about fixing up cars and a Chuck Norris movie that he had seen at least a million times already. Sam never could understand how Dean could watch the same thing over and over again. He himself could watch something once at the most twice, but Dean had a habit of watching a movie until he could quote it word for word.

A few hours had gone by and Dean had made a "grub run" and had gone back to surfing channels. Once he found nothing on, he got up and made his way into the bathroom for a shower. Sam was still sitting at his station with his eyes glued to his laptop, his beer Dean had got for him barely touched.

"You have been at it for hours, have you found anything?" Dean asked as he reemerged from the bathroom. Steam floating out after him.

"As a matter of a fact, I did." Sam looked over at Dean, black dots danced through is vision and the throbbing in his head had returned.

"And? Are you going to share with the rest of the class?" Dean questioned meeting Sam's eyes.

"So all vics were male and all of them were last seen around the same place."

"Strip club," Dean asked his eyes lighting up.

"Uh close…Knight Stay," Sam responded.

"Which is…?"

"A hotel. A shady rent by the hour or the night kinda hotel," Sam described. Dean nodded his head to show that he understood what Sam was getting at.

"The kind where guys check in to spend some quality with women who aren't their ball and chain," Dean replied. Sam moved his hand in Dean's direction as to say "correct." "Alright, so female is looking like our winner. The question is female what?"

"Exactly. And as far as that 'what' is concerned, I have nothing. I mean the paper said that their flesh was missing right? So that kinda narrows it down a bit. I'm thinking a rougaru."

Dean's face crinkled up "Nah, it seems too planned out to be a rougaru. They just eat whatever is easiest and run."

Sam sighed. "True."

"Look why don't you just call it a night and we'll play FBI at that Stay place tomorrow."

Sam looked at the screen and then back to his brother nodding "yeah alright."

Once the laptop had been shut down and Sam was in his sweatpants and black V-neck, he crawled into the unoccupied bed. The last thing he could remember was the light on the nightstand going off and his brother saying good night.

Sam woke up, the throbbing in his head almost unbearable. He put his fingers to his temples and tried to gently massage it. Nothing. He wanted to take some Aspirin for it, but remembered that Dean had snatched up the bottle and put it god knows where. Sam kicked off the covers and padded over to Dean's bag and the duffel. If they were going to be somewhere, it was probably here. Quietly, Sam began to unzip Dean's bag and go through it. There wasn't much of anything in it, including the pills. He did the same for the duffel bag and got equal results. He wasn't going to wake his brother over a headache, but he needed something to take down the pain if he wanted to get some sleep. Sam's eyes shifted from Dean to the car keys and as stealthily as possible, he snatched them up and tiptoed to the front door of the hotel. With one last look at his brother, Sam slid out and headed for the Impala.

The night air was chilly and the sky was still clouded, with only a few stars visible. Sam made his way down the stairs and to the car, careful not to wake any of the other guests. He looked to see if there were any bystanders around, and once the coast was clear, he opened the trunk. The Impala's trunk was also the Winchester's arsenal and so they were very careful when opening it. He began to rummage through the various weapons and hodgepodge of items, when his eyes fell on a bottle. He grabbed for it, popped it open, and cussed when he found it was empty. After a bit more digging, Sam closed up the trunk and tried going through the car. He looked in the glove department, the back seat, and anywhere else a bottle of painkillers might be.

"Sam!"

Sam spun around to see Ruby again. A look of terror still on her face.

"What the hell?" Sam questioned looking at her.

"Sam?"

Sam looked over to see his brother staring at him. He turned around again at where he had seen Ruby. She had vanished.

"I – I was looking for something for my headache…" Sam stopped. His headache was gone.

Ch 4: Room 14

Once back inside, Dean fished around in his jacket pocket while Sam went to sit on the edge of his bed. His head in his hands.

"Here," Dean called out tossing his little brother the bottle of Aspirin. Sam thanked him, grabbed four pills, and when he was sure that Dean wasn't looking, he stuffed them into his sweatpants pocket. Dean joined him, sitting on the end of his own bed facing his brother. "What's going on Sam?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Just a headache," Sam shrugged.

"Come on man," Dean protested.

Sam sighed. He wasn't really in the mood to go over this with him right now. Especially since he was still trying to figure it out himself. "I don't know."

"I mean the headaches, the spacing out, the drinking, the pill popping, calling out to Ruby….and you kinda freaked me out back at that house the other day."

Sam's eyes, which had been glued to the Aspirin bottle he held in his hands, now moved up to meet his brother's.

"I know. I'm sorry, Dean."

When nothing else was said, Dean got up, walked over to the fridge, grabbed two beers, and rejoined his brother. He popped open both lids and handed one to Sam. Sam took a big swig and then placed it on his nightstand. Unsure of what else to do and wanting to avoid his big brother for the rest of the night, he climbed back into bed and rolled over so that he faced away from Dean.

His brother had some good points. Headaches were pretty common for Sam, but seeing things that weren't there? Was that due to the pain of the headache or was it something more? And why Ruby? Sure she had been a friend, a help, and in a twisted kinda way, a comfort.

Some time had passed by and the sound of Dean's footsteps moving from his bed to the restroom to the fridge and back to the bed again was the only sound. Sam heard the wresting of the covers and his brother's cussing of how itchy the blanket was, and then snoring. Sam shifted so that he was laying on his back with one hand put up to his head. He lay awake like that for hours before finally slipping into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning, Sam woke up and got a later start on the day then he would have liked. Once they had both thrown on their F.B.I suits and ties, they made their way to the Night's Stay to question the innkeeper. However, there was a surprise waiting for them when they arrived.

The hotel was roped off with yellow crime scene tape and three cop cars and an ambulance were the only cars in the parking lot. Dean pulled the Impala to park across the way.

"What the fuck?" He asked looking out of the passenger side window at all the commotion going on across the way. Sam sighed. He was always nervous when he and Dean had to deal with the law. Not only were they both pretending to be F.B.I, which can already land them into some serious trouble should anyone find out, but Dean had been wanted by the real F.B.I. Granted they had hoped some of that could have been taken care of once they had more or less become allies with Agent Hendrickson, but that had been short lived. Another work of Lilith's. Dean rolled his eyes checked his fake ID, which he stowed in the hidden pocket of his jacket, and started off towards the Inn. Sam quickly followed, falling into line right beside his brother.

As the boys made their way up and over to the lobby, they were greeted by an officer. He held up a hand as to stop the Winchesters from proceeding. Both Sam and Dean gave their best "F.B.I faces" and pulled out their badges.

"Agent Hetfield and Agent Young," Dean introduced. The officer eyed their badges a little too long for Sam's comfort, but nodded in approval. Sam thanked the officer and they continued into the lobby.

It was a small surprisingly nice looking lobby, nicer than most that either Winchester had come across in a while. There was a red leather couch with a matching loveseat. The carpet was an off white, probably not the best color for a hotel lobby, and a tall floor lamp. A mahogany end table with various magazines stack on top of each other stood between the couch and loveseat. A matching coffee table with a glass top was laid out in front of the couch. Off to the right of the building, was the check in desk that was made of stone with a rack of brochures standing next to it. The woman who stood behind the counter appeared to be in her early-thirties. Her long red hair hung down in curls to the mid of her back. The woman's grey eyes fell on both boys and she crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry gentlemen, if you couldn't tell from all of the guys in uniform outside, we are currently not open."

"F.B.I," Sam replied pulling out his badge. She looked them both up and down, taking a longer look at Dean who was standing next to his brother, no badge in hand. Sam cleared his throat snapping his brother out of the gutter that was his mind and bringing him back to reality. Dean pulled out his badge as well and flashed the woman a smile. She returned the smile and then turned back to face Sam.

"I'm sure I can guess why you are here. What do you want to know?"

"We wanted to talk to you about the murders that have been occurring in your…ahem…establishment."

"Well I don't know much about them. I sent word to the innkeeper about all of this. He's gone to France for a few weeks. He sent me returned a message saying he was on his way back to deal with this. Want to wait and talk to him?"  
"No ma'am that won't be necessary. We just would like to know who was working that night."

"You're looking at her," she replied arms still crossed.

"Do you remember checking in Jack Coleman?"

"I don't know them by name."

"OK, did you hear any…unusual sounds coming from his room?"

"What kind of sick person do you think I am?" she asked taken aback. "I don't stand with my ear pressed to people's doors."

"No no I know I just mean…" Sam was trying desperately to recover himself.

"Any complaints from any of your guests?" Dean asked stepping in.

"I did have one. She said there was some loud banging and a woman's voice. I brushed it off and asked her what she expected in a rent by the night hotel."

"Do you know if the guy had been alone? Did he check in for one?"

The woman went back around the desk to the computer.

"What was this guy's name again?"

"Jack Coleman."

After some typing and clicking, the woman nodded. "Yes, checked in as one in room 14."

"But the guest reported hearing banging and a WOMAN'S voice, right?" Sam asked.

"Right…" The front desk agent said.

"Did you see a woman going into the room at any point that night?"

"No."

"Is there anything else you can remember about that night?" Sam asked.

The woman shook her head. "Sorry, nope."

The boys thanked her, and with one last flirtatious smile at the front desk agent from Dean, they marched off to investigate the room.

As they were about to enter, a gurney with a sheet was being pushed out.

"Hold up there a sec," Dean put a hand out to stop the gurney operator. He flashed him his badge, replaced it, and pulled up the sheet. Sam and Dean both eyed what was left of the man. The skin was peeled from the body, displaying bloody innards and bulging glazed over eyes. Dean pulled the sheet down and motioned for the man to continue on. The gurney was pushed away and Sam and Dean, sliding under more yellow tape, made their way into the room.


	2. Chapter 5

**Writer's Note: So this is chapter 5 even though I know it will look like only chapter two. I'm sorry for all the confusion, I promise the next one will not be this big of a pain. Thanks to my few followers for sticking with me, it's appreciated 3 I already have two more chapters written out, so I should be able to update soon once I have gone over them to make sure they are ok for everyone to see. **

Ch 5: It's Not Real

The room was a typical hotel room. The walls were an eggshell color and the cheap carpet a light shade of brown. There was a mini fridge and microwave off to the right, as well as a dresser. A basic floor mirror and two queen size beds with a nightstand in between them were to the left. The bed furthest from the door was neatly made, the one closest was soaked in in blood from the now dark brown-red comforter to the sheets. Sam was even willing to bet that the mattress was now no longer white. Both Winchesters noted how clean and orderly the room was with the exception of the bed.

"No signs of struggle," Dean said out loud. Sam nodded. While his brother walked over to investigate the bathroom, Sam scanned around and under the bloody bed. He could make out dark stains on the floor.

"Was the victim wearing anything when he was found?" Sam asked a nearby officer.

"Just a pair of boxers," he responded. Dean joined his brother, a shake of his head told Sam he found nothing.

"Anything else? A phone maybe?" Sam continued.

"Evidence bagged a cell, car keys, hotel key, and a wallet found on the night stand. No cash, ID, or cards appear to be missing," he reported.

Sam thanked the officer and exchanged glances with his brother. Dean walked over to inspect the window while Sam checked outside the door. Something pink caught his eye. He crouched down to take a closer look and recognized it as fake painted fingernail. A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked up to see a woman in a floral robe peek around the door of the room next to them. Sam stood up and made his way over to her.

"Agent Young," he flashed his badge. "Were you around last night?"

The woman nodded causing her blonde ponytail to bounce slightly.

"Did you see anyone or hear anything?"

"Yes. I saw...a woman," her voice was shaky.

"A woman? Was she alone?"

"She was at the door talking with the man in the room next door." Sam noticed the woman was rubbing a cross charm on her necklace between her thumb and index finger.

"Can you describe her?" Sam inquired.

"I just saw her in passing, but she was kind of short, her hair was dark, and she looked young. I would say maybe mid twenties."

"Did you see her eyes?" The woman shook her head."Anything else you can tell me?"  
"I heard a loud noise and a woman's voice. I called the front desk. Next thing I know...I hear police cars and then that 's all I know."

"Did you hear what she said?"

The woman shook her head sadly.

"What was the sound that you heard?"

"I don't know. It was a thud, like something big hit the floor." Sam looked over at room 14 and saw his brother step out.

"Thank you for your time ma'am," Sam gave a quick nod. The woman returned the gesture.

"Anything?" he asked as he joined his brother.

"Nope, nada. You?" Dean asked as they made their way back to the Impala.

"Well, the neighbor said she saw a short young woman with dark hair talking with our vic."

"Short young dark haired woman? That's helpful," Dean mumbled getting into the driver's seat. "Did she mention anything about eyes or teeth?"

"No, but she did say she heard a woman's voice and a loud thud."

"Well, I got nothing."

"Yeah, me either."

Once back in their motel room, Sam took his place at his laptop.

"Ok, so we know all the victims were found without skin, in a hotel, and all were male," Sam recapped. "At least Jack Coleman was with a girl and there was a loud thud..." he trailed off deep in thought. "It's not a vampire, werewolf, shapeshifter...something new?" Sam looked over at his brother.

"Could be," Dean shrugged.

"Should we call Bobby?" Sam suggested. Dean pulled out his cell, scrolled down, pressed enter, put the phone to his ear. After getting no reply but only a continuous ring, he hung up. "So much for that," Sam sighed. He turned back to his computer and got to work.

Hours later, he slammed his computer shut and rubbed his face. He could feel another headache starting to form.

"Nothing?" Dean asked.

"All kinds of hits on flesh eating bugs and zombies. I doubt this is a zombie case."

"Dude take a break, take a shower, you stink."

Sam frowned at his brother, but decided to take his advice. Showers were always a good place for him to think plus they made him feel better afterwards.

Once he got the water just the right temperature, he undressed and stepped in. It was one of those bathtub/showers that so many motels had. This one was small, although most were too small for Sam. The water pressure wasn't the best but it was good enough. He felt his body start to loosen and his eyes began to close. Just as he started to feel himself completely relax, the water changed. It felt thicker, even the shower head sounded like it was having trouble spitting it out. Sam tried to ignore it and sink further into thought, when something caught him off guard. His nostrils were invaded with a stench he knew only too well. The substance ran down Sam's face, onto his lips, and off his chin. Metallic and salty and a hint of...what was that? His eyes flew open and he looked down at his feet. He was standing in a pool of blood and still more was rolling off of his body. Sam called out and immediately began to move away from the shower head. He grabbed his towel which had been neatly folded and placed on the toilet seat, wrapped it around his waist and threw his long legs up and over the tub. His left foot caught the edge and he went down with a thud onto his hands and knees.

"Sam? Sam?" Dean called out. When there was no answer back, he burst through the door and found his brother on the floor. "Sam! What happened? You ok?" Dean rushed over to help his brother to his feet. Sam grabbed onto Dean's arm, his eyes were wide. His knees wobbled in protest as he was pulled to his feet. Breathing heavily, Sam looked back towards the still running shower.

"Blood," he choked out.

"What?"  
"Blood, there was..." Sam pulled back the shower curtain to reveal perfectly clear running water. He looked down at his torso. Only water rolled down his body. He turned to face his brother with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face.

"Sam, what?"

"I- nothing."

The older Winchester didn't seem convinced, he kept a hand on his little brother's shoulder as he directed him to sit down on the toilet seat. Dean peered down at Sam who now had his head in his hands. His body was shaking.

"It's alright Sammy," Dean said calmly. "Whatever it was, it wasn't real."

Sam nodded. "Right," he whispered "it wasn't real."


	3. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Wide Awake

Sam woke up early the next morning. He hadn't really been able to sleep, tossing and turning until about 2am. Now here he was wide awake and at 5:15am. Quietly, he kicked off the covers and crept over to sit at his laptop. His search for answers continued. Sam started to make a mental check list of all the things he could think of that it could possibly be. Not zombies, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters...ghosts? No, he had never heard of a ghost peeling off a person's skin. Demons? They could be pretty brutal with torture. However after some thought, Sam decided it was unlikely. Although he hadn't asked, no one made any mentions of sulfur. A witch maybe? After all, the vics were male and married. Key word ALL married. If it was a witch, then I was a coven of pissed off disparate housewives. Sam huffed out loud. It couldn't be this hard, it had to be obvious. Something that he would later facepalm about. A new question popped into his mind. What was going on with him? Intense spontaneous headaches (clearly not from exercising demons) and hallucinations weren't normal, not even for him. Sam opened a new tab and typed in his symptoms. The first one he opened to had a long list of what it could be. Sam scanned them all shaking his head after everyone. This didn't seem like a some run of the mill health issue. He looked over at the sound of Dean groaning. His brother pulled himself up to sitting position and looked over at him.

"Sam? You ok?" his voice still sleepy.

"Yeah, just..." he turned back to the computer and closed out of the health tab. "Just you know, back at it."

Dean got to his feet and made his way over to sit in the chair opposite Sam.

"You ok otherwise?"

Sam caught on.

"Yes Dean, I'm fine."

"Want to tell me what happened last night?" He wasn't so much asking as he was telling. Sam got up and made his way to the door.

"Nothing to tell. Hey you know, I'm going to go check the arsenal. Maybe there's something in there that will spark an idea."

"Why would -" Dean was cut off as the door to their room closed.

Sam didn't really know what to do, he just needed some alone time, not 20 more questions with Mother Hen. He made his way down the stairs and as he was passing by a room on the first floor, something stopped him in his tracks. It seemed strange that curtains would be open so that anyone walking by could peek inside. However, that wasn't really what shocked Sam. Not only were the window curtains open giving a clear view of the room, but the bathroom door located directly across the way was opened and looked occupied. Sam wasn't his brother, to see someone undressed would embarrass the hell out of him. But this person wasn't undressed. From what he could tell, they were standing in the shower/tub facing the window wearing a grungy plaid shirt, an olive colored jacket, and a pair of beat up jeans. It was a man, a very tall man, who's head was hanging down so that his face was covered by brown hair. Both of his hands were above his head and appeared to be tied at the wrists. Sam could feel his heart begin to pound and his breath came short and heavy. Those were his clothes, the longish brown hair was his hair. He was looking at himself, albeit a much less healthy worse off version of himself.

"What the -"

"Sam! Sam come on, please!"

Sam turned from the window to see Ruby once again.

"Stop! You aren't real!" He yelled at her.

"You forget something?"

Sam turned his head in the direction of the voice. No shock to him, it was his brother with a look of frustration and confusion. He was holding the keys up in front of him."This is getting ridiculous. How many more times are we going to ride this merry-go-round man?" Sam looked at Dean.

"Not many," he said under his breath.

"Alright come on. I found out where our fleshless friend lives, let's go talk to his widow." The younger brother only nodded to show that he had heard him. Dean rolled his eyes and stomped off back to their motel room. Sam spun to face the window again. Nothing. The shower was empty. He shook his head and headed up to get ready for the day.

"I don't understand, why would the FBI be investigating my husband's death?" Asked a middle aged woman. Her dark eyes were red and puffy and her black hair was nothing short of a rat's nest. She hugged her ratty powder blue robe closer as she peered at the two men standing on her porch.

"We aren't at liberty to say," Dean replied.

"Not at liberty...he was my husband," she snapped.

"We know Mrs. Coleman. Please, I know this is hard, but we have some questions for you," Sam chimed in taking a calmer approach.

"Let me guess, do I know what he was doing there?" she replied shortly turning her full attention on him. "I think you and I both know that it wasn't for work, seems how we are only a ten minute drive from there."

Dean raised his eyebrows at her. It wasn't usual that the victim's loved one was so forward.

"Do you know who he was with? Have you heard him talking to anyone?"

"No, but then he wouldn't have been in that situation if I had known. All I know is that he told me that he was going to be going out with Mark and the guys."

"Mark?"

"His brother. He would go out with them often...or at least that's what I was led to believe." She sniffed and turned her face, trying to keep the boys from seeing new tears that were forming in her eyes. "Before you go accusing me of killing my husband, I was over at a friend's until about 3am helping her take care of her sick son. Are you boys done humiliating me? Did I answer all your stupid questions?" She looked from one brother to the next. Dean looked taken aback.

"Ma'am, our intentions..." Sam had started.

"I don't care, I really don't," she cut him off.

"Hey lady look," Dean's face hardened "we are trying to figure out who killed your husband. How about showing a little respect?" he growled.

"I think it's time for you leave. If you come back here, I will call the cops," she shot back slamming the door in their faces.

Dean turned to his brother with wide eyes. "She knows she just slammed the door and threatened to call the cops on FBI, right?" he said as they both stepped off the front porch. "We aren't FBI," Sam reminded his brother, he had a tendency to get wrapped up in his role. "Yeah, but she doesn't know that," Dean responded.

"She doesn't care."

"Well, that was a big waste of time," the older Winchester grumbled.

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure that visit proves that it's not her," Sam shrugged as he slid into the Impala. Dean only nodded in response.

Sam sat staring out the passenger side window. His wheels had been turning since his episode last night and he was finally starting to form an idea. However, he wanted to be at least 99% sure before he made any moves. His distant hazel eyes and furrowed brow didn't go un-noticed. "Ok seriously?" Dean broke the silence, Sam made no sign that he even heard his brother. "Hey. Hey! SAM!" That got his attention. "What?" he snapped. "Exactly, what? What's going on with you?" Sam turned from the window to face Dean.

"I'm thinking!"

"About?"

"The case! What else would I be thinking about Dean?!"

"I don't know, you tell me. I mean you've been -"

"Acting really strange, yeah, I got it. That horse is dead, try beating another."

Dean threw him a dangerous glare which he ignored.

"Ok, you know what?" Before Sam could answer, the Impala swung into the parking lot of a bar and grill. The younger brother's eyes grew wide from the unexpected tight turn. Dean whipped the car into a parking spot, threw the car in park, turned off the engine, unhooked his seatbelt, and stormed off, slamming his door as he left. Sam took a few deep inhales and exhales before opening the car door and following his big brother. Unsurprisingly, he found him sitting at the bar talking with a girl, a shot of whiskey was placed down on the counter in front of him. Sam rolled his eyes and huffed taking a seat at a table on the opposite side of the bar. He knew better than to try and talk to his brother when he was with a girl. It was pointless. A bourbon sounded really good right about now, but he decided that he should just stick to water. If Dean was aware of his brother's hazel eyes glancing over at him every few minutes, he didn't show it. Finally after what had to have been at least an hour and four whiskey shots later, Dean pushed himself away from the bar. Sam went to get up and join him, but stopped when he saw the girl his brother had been talking with collect her jacket and follow.

"Dean," Dean spun to face his little brother, a wide smile spread across his face.

"Sammy hey. Look, I'm giving...what's your name again sweetheart?"

"Rachel," she laughed. She looked short, even in high heels. She was wearing a low cut royal blue lace tank top with a black leather jacket and a denim short skirt. Her face was pretty, not one Sam would consider a knock out, but she was fair enough. Her straight brown hair hung down to her waist.

"Right. I'm giving Rachel a ride. You good catching a taxi or something?"

Sam shook his head in disbelief, but he could use this alone time to figure things out without being badgered.

"Yeah, sure."

Dean smiled, patted his brother's shoulder, than grabbed Rachel's waist and together they made their way to the Impala.

A threatening idea occurred to the youngest Winchester as he watched the Impala tear out of the parking lot. He immediately began to put pieces of the puzzle together. Sam's eyes grew wide with fear as it all sank in. Losing no time, he began to run car door to car door hoping, praying, someone left one open. Sam cussed at his luck and his stupidity. Just as he was about to give up and try to come up with a plan B, a pale blue pick up truck's door flew open. He sprinted over towards it just as a balding man with a black goatee hopped out. Sam rushed at him causing the man to tense.

"What the f-" he stumbled down after Sam's fist made contact with his face. He apologized, snagged the keys, and drive back to the motel, hoping he would find his brother there and alive. A new revaluation popped into Sam's mind. Even when he got there, he still didn't know what he was up

against or how to kill it.


	4. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is so short, I have been busy with work and working on a play. I wanted to at least get something out there for my few followers before I head to Vegas for the SPN Con! I hope this chapter is alright. I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you for reading.**

Ch 7: Come Clarity

Sam sprung out of the pick up truck and bolted up the motel room. Figuring that the door was locked, he pulled out his room key and, swiped it, and barged in. At first he thought no one was there and they had gone to her place instead. The light was on, but he didn't see anyone. A groan sounded from the floor between the two queen size beds.

"Dean?" San rushed over and found Dean laying on the floor. He's left hand was pressed to his right shoulder and Sam could see red on his brother's shirt, hand, shoulder, and floor. "Where is she?" Sam asked squatting down so that he could meet Dean's eyes.

"I don't know. Sam, she's-"

"Invisible," the younger Winchester finished in a whisper. Of course. He knew what they were up against now. Why hadn't he thought of it before? "Dean, where are you're keys?" He kept his voice low. His brother jerked his head in the direction of his jacket, which had been thrown onto Sam's bed earlier. He stood up, grabbed the jacket, and dug around until his hand felt the familiar metal ring. He snatched them up and ran to the door. Before he could reach for the handle, the bolt was thrown on and the lock moved up, clicking into place. His eyes began to shift back and forth nervously, hoping he would see some kind of indicator as to where she was. As if to answer Sam's thoughts, he felt a sudden pain move up his cheek followed by liquid. The younger Winchester put his hand to his face and wiped away the blood from his cut. He made his way over to the window, eyes still wondering. This time, he was sent flying backwards hitting the window and falling hard on his back on the walkway to the rooms. Pieces of broken glass showered down with him. He groaned in pain, but found his feet and took off down the stairs to the Impala. He fumbled for the keys and opened the trunk, not caring if anyone saw. As it was, him tumbling out a window would be enough to cause alarm. Sam fished around through the various weapons tossing them every which way. Finally he found what he was looking for, a small brass pipe he had acquired almost two years ago. He snatched it up and sprinted back up the stairs to the motel room. Sam leapt through the opening and made his way to the corner by the front door. At least this way she could only attack on either side or from the front, no surprising him from the back.

"Come on," Sam said under his breath, his heart pounding with adrenaline. Another sharp pain cut across his face, followed by a disembodied giggle. He swung the pipe in the direction he had been attacked from. "Come on bitch!" This time it wasn't a cut, but shift gust of wind, as if something blew pass him. Sam picked up on what her plan was and took off towards his brother. Dean shouted out in pain one again, but this time he wasn't alone. Sam threw the brass pipe out only a few inches from his brother's face and struck something solid. A high pitch scream rang throughout the room, causing Sam's head to feel like it was going to explode.

"Rakshasa," Dean breathed. Sam had pulled back the pipe from what seemed like mid air and stood facing his injured brother. "Haha hey, at least...it wasn't a...clown huh?" He tried to laugh. "A little...help" Dean cringed holding out his hand towards his brother. Sam grabbed on and pulled him to shaky legs, his left hand still pressed to his still bleeding shoulder. "Damn Sammy, color me impressed, Dean grinned in admiration. "How did you-" the grin dissolved and his eyes grew wide as Sam stood pointing the brass weapon in his direction. "Whoa! whoa! Sam what the fuck?"

"Y-you aren't my brother," Sam replied, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"What?"

"My brother is...dead. I saw him-"

"Not this again."

"NO! I know what I saw. I watched as muscle and flesh was torn from his bones. I saw blood pour from his body all over him and the floor around him," Sam's voice trailed off cracking slightly as tears started to shine in his eyes and memories came back clear as crystal. "I heard him yelling out in excruciating pain and watched his face transition from fear and agony to tranquil and blank. I held his body close, looking into his lifeless green eyes that stared straight pass me. I buried him in a piss poor excuse of a grave," Sam began to shake, but didn't lower the pipe. "You...are not Dean."

Dean shook his head sadly, his eyes matching Sam's with the start of tears.

"Sammy, you need help," he said in a low shaky voice.

"No. I need to wake up."

"You seriously think this is dream?" Dean asked in disbelief. Sam didn't respond. "I can assure you, this ain't Oz."

Slowly, Sam turned the brass pipe from his brother so that the sharper edge faced himself and aimed it at his own heart.

"Dean told me about an old wives tale that he tried when he was caught by a Djinn. If you die in a dream, you'll wake up. It took me awhile, but I figured it out. It's not Ruby who isn't real. It's you."

"Sam, please-" Dean put his hands out in front of him in a way of surrender. "Even if that's true, even if I'm not real and this is all a dream, what's the upside of waking up? I mean you would go back to a world where your brother is dead and the place you live in is a demon's playground. Is that what you want?" Dean's eyes never left Sam's as the two stood in the room. "Sam-Sammy, please. I'm begging you, don't do this. Please don't leave me." Tears rolled down Sam's cheeks and he sniffed. His watering hazel eyes looked down at the floor only briefly before meeting the terrified green eyes he missed so much.

"I have to," Sam mustered up his strength and thrust the pipe into his chest.


	5. Chapter 8

**A/N: Alright, this is the second to last chapter for this story. I'm sorry, this is a short chapter once more. Hopefully it's alright though. I have started to write up two other stories so hopefully those will be out soonish. Thank you so much to my followers for sticking through with me and seeing this story to the end. As well as anyone who popped in to check out the story. I hope you are enjoying it.**

Ch 8: Numb

"Sam! Sam! Come on! Wake up, please!"

Sam's eyes fluttered open. The back of his head was pounding and his vision was a bit blurry at first, but slowly things came into focus. The first thing he saw was Ruby's face. Her eyes went from wide with fear to full of relief.

"R-"

"Finally!" she breathed, reaching into her jacket pocket pulling out her knife. "I was afraid to move you, I didn't know how you would react," she explained as she began to cut at the rope that held Sam's arms up. As she did so, he took in his surroundings. There was what appeared to be the remains of what was once a sink and a toilet off to his right as well as one slightly opened window. The walls and floor were covered in mold and residue, some pieces were already completely rotted. The shower/tub he was standing in was in an equally as disgusting, covered in blood (not all of which could possibly have come from him), grim, and mold.

Ruby moved Sam's arms slowly to his side, trying to keep as little movement as possible. They felt numb. If it hadn't been for the burning red rope marks around his wrist, he would have thought he was armless. Sam collapsed to his knees, the weight of his enormous stature too much for his legs to withstand. His body sagged further and his head rolled so that he was facing the bottom of the tub.

"Whoa," Ruby knelt down and grabbed the collar on either side of Sam's shirt.

"De..." his voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Shhh it's ok Sam," she said gently.

"De..." he repeated. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls and his lips were chapped and bleeding.

"Is that what you dreamt about? Dean? I'm so sorry Sam, it wasn't real. Dean's in Hell."

Tears flooded Sam's eyes and landed with a thunk onto the tub below. His giant form shook, his shoulders heaving up and down. Ruby allowed the grieving brother to stay like that for several minutes before interfering. She placed a small hand lightly on his arm.

"Sam, I know this is hard, but we have to go. I killed the Djinn some time ago, but we need to get out of here in case another one shows up."

Sam didn't make any signs that he heard Ruby, he only continued to sob.

"Come on." With surprising strength, she managed to lift him off of his knees, and half drag half walk his massive body forward. She placed his right arm around her shoulder as gently as she could and wrapped her arm around his waist. Slowly, he began to walk using Ruby as a crutch, still unable to move fully on his own. They made their way from the restroom through the rest of the abandoned farmhouse. A lifeless body of a heavily tattooed young man was on the floor in the hallway with a pool of blood around him and a knife sticking out of his back.

Fresh warm air hit Sam as they exited the house and made their way onto the front porch. It should have felt good, but instead it was blinding and draining. He moved to put his hand up to block the sun from his eyes, but his arm feel back to his side uselessly. Ruby took the stairs that led off the porch slowly and one at a time. At the last step, she almost lost her grip around Sam's waist, causing him to stagger and start to fall forward. Ruby was able to recover and keep him more or less on his feet. By the time she had managed to lean him up against the Impala, find the keys in his jacket pocket, and carefully lower the half responsive man into the passenger side, Sam's sobs had reduced to sniffs and his eyes had rolled in the back of his head from exhaustion. Ruby rushed to the driver's side, started up the engine, and sped off away from the farmhouse. Sam wanted to object. Had Dean known his beloved Baby had been driven by a demon, and the demon he hated most to boot, he would have killed both of them. But Dean wasn't around to threaten either of their lives, and he never would know. Despite his fight to stay awake, Sam fell out of consciousness.


	6. Chapter 9

**A/N: Alright, here it is. The final chapter of my first fan fiction. **

**Thank you so much to all those who have read this story and a special thanks to franjane91, dulcinea54, devlady, Nalana88 and anyone else that has either favorited this story or me, for following this one through. I hope I didn't disappoint at the end here. **

**I hope everyone enjoyed it or at least found it entertaining enough. I have already set in motion another SPN fan fiction...possibly two. If you liked While You Were Away, then you might also enjoy my one shot A Way Back to Then. It's based off of the season 9 finale told by Sam's point of view (I promise I'm not going to always write about drunk and/or falling down Sam). I have been feeling a little under the weather unfortunately so I don't have quite as much done of the other story as I had hoped. It will be titled You Should Have Been There, for anyone who is interested, and it's an au that takes place during season 5. **

**Thank you again for your time, I hope you enjoy 3**

Ch 9: Little Drop of Poison

The next time Sam opened his eyes, he regretted it immediately. His head was pounding and he was laying on a floor looking up at the cracking and molding ceiling. The grime covered walls surrounding him were the same ones he had so disparately hoped to never see again. The worst part of it all, he was alone once more. He couldn't even comfort himself like he had with his mom and his girlfriend Jessica when they had died. He had always told himself that at least they were in heaven where angels were watching over them and their souls could be at peace. They were no longer in any pain.

Mary Winchester had died when Sam had only been 6 months old, so he didn't remember much about her. His mother's death, although sad, didn't affect him the same as it had Dean and John. He more so was saddened by not having had the chance to make memories with her like Dean had or even being able to have anything like a scent or sight to connect her with. He had seen only one picture of her once. Sam caught a glimpse of it when he had approached John to ask if he would read him a bedtime story. John hadn't seen his youngest son creep up on him. His whole body jumped and he quickly put the picture down, yelling about how he shouldn't sneak up on people like that. His yelling had startled the small boy and he ran back to his hotel bed, covering his face with the book. Dean had been able to calm him down by reading Sam a couple of stories instead. Sam never forgot the picture, the image of a beautiful blond young woman smiling with John's arms wrapped tight around her was forever seared into his brain. While he listened to the soothing sound of his brother reading to him, he closed his eyes and visualized the blond woman from the picture with beautiful feathered wings looking down and watching over her family. This was the last thing Sam thought about before he drifted off to sleep that night.

Dean's death didn't have that same comfort or image. He couldn't just close his eyes and picture his big brother sitting next to Mary and Jessica looking after the sole surviving Winchester like he always did, with a pair of his own fancy wings. There was no shrugging it off and saying to himself "he's in a better place." because he knew he wasn't. Miserable though Sam may be, the younger Winchester knew that it was nothing compared to what his big brother must be going through.  
He wanted to cry or yell, but he was lacking the energy for either. Much against his body's will, Sam managed to roll onto his side and push himself up slowly with shaky arms into sitting potion. He sat for awhile, trying to gather strength for the next step. Standing. At snail's pace, he got to his hands and knees and began to raise himself up. His legs wobbled dangerously, threatening to drop him back down to the floor, but he fought back. Sam just wanted to make it into the kitchen. All he wanted was a drink, maybe some Asprin for his head and aching body. As he went to take his first step, the room started to spin. A pair of hands grabbed tight onto Sam, catching him before he could hit the ground. He was once again more or less dragged off, this time it was over to the kitchen, with surprising strength and placed in a chair.  
"Sam? Hey, stay with me," Ruby slapped him lightly. He cringed and wrinkled his face in disapproval.  
"W-"  
"Here. Drink up," she demanded holding out a glass of water. His eyes began to roll in back of his head. "No, hey! Sam!" she moved the glass and put it to his cracked and bleeding lips. Gently she titled his head back and began to pour it down his throat. The glass was a quarter of the way empty when Sam responded. He choked and gargled, causing his body to spasm. Ruby let go of him and backed away as he coughed and spat up room temperature water. Once his coughing and body were back under control, he glared up at Ruby with a look that resembled a five year old being told to take medicine. She lowered the cup to his lips once again, but this time Sam moved his head away and made a feeble attempt to push the cup that she was holding down towards the table.  
"Just finish it," she instructed. There was a pause before he finally took up the glass, slowly raised it to his mouth, finished it up, and handed the empty cup back to her.  
"Bourbon," he demanded. His voice was hoarse but clear.  
"Sam, you need-"  
"Bourbon," he repeated. Ruby turned and went into the kitchen, returning with a fresh full cup. She placed it on the table in front of him. He looked at the water in disgust.  
"Come on," she sighed. "Look, I know you miss Dean, but-"  
"Don't," Sam warned in a voice barely more than a whisper. His eyes had darted from the water up to meet Ruby 's.  
"You need to take care of yourself . He wouldn't want-"  
With strength he didn't even know he had, Sam swept his right arm across the table sending the glass of water to go crashing to the floor and shatter into pieces.  
"I. Said. Don't." He hissed through his teeth.  
"Ok," Ruby replied looking down at the young Winchester sadly. "I'm just glad you're alive. What were you thinking going after a Djinn by yourself? You're lucky I was able to track you, and kill the guy. Although, I had thought that once I killed him, you would wake up. But you didn't." Sam didn't respond. "I'm so proud of you for fighting through it." She placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled.  
"Cookie for me," Sam retorted.  
Ruby pulled up a chair so that she sat across from him and took up his large shaky hands in her small steady ones.  
"You're so close, you've made so much progress. Please don't give up now."  
He stared straight a head, his face blank.  
"You need to take care of yourself. That means staying hydrated and keeping up your strength."  
Sam rolled his eyes. Ruby huffed at his gesture and pulled out her knife once again, causing his glance to move to the action curiously. She pressed the cold metal to her forearm and slid it across her skin. Immediately, red liquid began to rise up from the cut and snake it's way down. Her dark eyes locked onto the young Winchester as she moved the bleeding arm towards him. Sam leapt from his chair and started to back away. His body warned him that the fast movement was a poor decision as he staggered slightly. He tried to hold out his hands in front of him as the room started to swirl.  
"What the Hell?" Sam's panicked voice cracked.  
"Sam, it's ok," Ruby coaxed.  
"No! Just stay the fuck away from me!" His legs gave out again and he collapsed to the floor. The demon got down to her knees to match him.  
"Shhhh...it's ok," she repeated calmly. Sam watched with wide eyes as the blood on Ruby 's arm grew closer to him. He had spent the last of his strength when he popped out of the chair earlier, and although he was running on adrenaline and fear now, it still wasn't any good. He had backed himself to a wall and was now stuck between it and the demon. Ruby moved closer, until she was practically on top of him. Sam tried to squirm free, but she held his head stead with the arm that wasn't cut while forcing his mouth to her bleeding arm. Sam cringed and closed his eyes as her blood touched his lips. It wasn't metallic nor salty. A familiar bitter sweetness sent his taste buds in a frenzy. He could feel it moving through his body as it slid down his throat and seemed to grow and spread throughout his system. His aching muscles and head were forgotten. He felt a strength that he had never felt before. One he couldn't even describe really, but it felt amazing, powerful.  
Ruby pulled her arm away from him watching, inquisitive.  
"How do you feel?" She asked stroking his hair with the hand that had been holding his head.  
"Wh-what did you-"  
"You feel better right?"  
Sam's eyes wondered over to Ruby 's arm. The demon had already began to heal up the cut on her meat suit, yet his heart began to race as the final drop dripped off of her. Sam's chest rose and fell quickly as he stared as if hypnotized by the mere sight.  
"I tried to give you some when you were out back at the Djinn's lair. I thought it might help give you strength to break free and wake up."  
That's where he had tasted the bitter sweetness before. The shower in his dream, the taste had been real?  
Sam found his feet and pushed himself from the wall back to standing position. This time however, he wasn't shaky or wobbly.  
"Give me sobriety, time and patience, and let me give you strength and guidance. You can take on Lilith, and avenge your brother. You CAN do this. I believe in you Sam," Ruby rose from the ground looking up at the young Winchester with a smile that was as promising as her words. Sam was standing with not only new strength, but with new confidence as well. Dean may not be alive, and he may not have found a way to get him back and save him from the Hell he knew he was in, but he could kill the bitch responsible for all of the brothers' pain and for taking Dean from him.  
"Alright, I'll do it," Sam nodded "for Dean."


End file.
